Surrender – Poem

This living sacrifice lives
But I want it to die daily
It shrinks away from the light Your love gives
And hides in the darkness of its frailty.
Broken, unspoken, the last surviving token of the life that was before it.
It is wilful ignorance, it is selfish defiance, it is foolish resistance.
It’s the mouth that bites the hand that feeds it or refuses to open at all.
It’s my greatest comfort and my greatest hindrance.
Like a close companion it whispers and promises to keep me safe along the journey of life
Provided I carry it on my back at all times.

But it’s weighing me down.

So I come to you weary
As You said I could
In spirit and truth as You said I should
I acknowledge I’m weak and nothing in me is good
And I bring You this life to be washed by Your blood.
But the fatigue of my frailty is still in my members
The spirit is willing but the flesh is so weak
Help me lift the burden of my flesh onto the altar
And hold it there until this sacrifice is complete.

The offering of obedience, the fragrance of love
A much sweeter aroma than any sacrifice
Not a single decision that’s seen from above
But a million made in every season of life.

Break me open and cleanse me of selfish ambition and fill me with vision, Your purpose and mission
Break me open and clear out all of the rebellion, the lies that I tell them, that I really believe in
Break me open and cast out the fear with Your love, so perfect and fiercely filling me with courage
I lay down my agenda, resign as Pretender and leap from the cliff into absolute surrender.

But I can’t seem to fall as fast as I’d like
Though I’ve let go I still feel like I’m holding on
Dead to sin? Not so sure there’s not still some life
In that old wound I thought I’d stop bleeding from.
If I’m crucified why do my hands feel free
To wander to things not intended for me?

Why does the pursuit sometimes still feel so bland?
Why do I find myself sitting when You’ve told me to stand?
I don’t have the answers but I’m still in the race
I may stumble and fall but I’m carried by grace
I know that my aim and my goal is Your face
To hear Your well done and feel Your embrace.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings
But I know You bring tomorrow
I may not do it perfectly
But today, I will surrender.

April 1st 2017


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